Wow, it has been ages since I have been able to blog. I guess that shows how busy life has gotten. Since my last blog, I have been a full-time missionary here in Colombia for almost two years. Many of you reading this receive my newsletters, follow me on social media, or we catch up over messaging or Skype. But this time I want to write something a little different. This time I'm writing this just as Megan. Just me being real (hence the title...sorry guys...I couldn't think of anything more clever). So here is goes.
Today has been hard. I know, that isn't the way we like to start off any public post. Usually it starts off with how great everything is going and then sharing a picture of our smiling face in this cool place to show how adventurous we are (guilty...). But today I just want to put that all aside and speak from my heart. "Why?" you may ask. Well, I have two reasons. One is for myself, because one day I want to look back at this blog and remember all the emotions I am feeling. Two, because I want people to know the truth. I want people to see a glimpse of what it's actually like being a full-time missionary. When I said "Yes" to God calling me to be a full-time missionary, I vowed to myself that I wanted to be real. If someone asks me what it is like I never want to lie or hide some of the less glamorous parts. I want to share all of it.
Today is not the first day that it's been hard. But today is the first day that I want to share about it. Trust me, I've wanted to tell you about it before. I just would always talk myself out of it. "Megan, you're going to look weak" "Megan, people are praying for you and supporting you to share the gospel, not hear about how hard it is" "Megan, you have nothing to complain about. People all around you have it much worse". These are just a few examples of the thoughts that have swirled around in my head. But this time another thought popped into my head. "Megan, what if you share this and it helps someone else?" "What if by sharing this some else has the courage to be real too?" "What if by sharing this someone gets a realistic perspective on missions and doesn't think it's just butterflies and rainbows 100% of the time?"
Today I felt alone. Yes, imagine that? A missionary feeling lonely. Why is that so hard for me to admit? I feel tired. Yes, imagine that? A missionary feeling tired. Why is that so hard for me to admit?
For some reason I feel like I need to be on my best game 90% of the time. Why? Because my disciples are watching? Because my team is counting on me? Because alone and tired should not be in a missionary's vocabulary?
I honestly don't know why. But this standard is only coming from me, and me alone.
The reality is, days when I feel tired and alone are days where I feel weak. I long to see my family and friends. I miss them so stinkin' much. I miss my home church. I miss worshiping in English, getting fired up by the sermon, and going to have lunch with my friends afterwards. I miss cuddling up on the couch with my sister and mom and watching a movie together. I miss going for a walk outside--not having to look in all directions to see if I'm being followed, if there's any dangerous people around, or the danger of someone finding out that I'm american. I miss talking on the phone with friends and family while I'm running errands--once again, it's too dangerous to have my phone out and risk someone hearing me talk in English. I miss goofing around and laughing in public with my crazy friends. I miss the hugs I get from my grandma and grandpa, for no other reason but to show how much we love each other. I miss driving in my car, rolling down the windows, and singing. I miss going out with my friends at night--because here once it's dark it's not safe and I need to be inside with the doors locked.
But do you know what made me even more sad today as I started listing off all the things I miss about the States? The sad thing is, is that I am creating a whole new list of things I'm going to miss the longer I stay here. The truth of the matter is, being a full-time missionary means I will continue to have to say goodbye. Leaving Colombia one day means that my mission here will be complete and that God is calling me to continue making disciples somewhere else. Am I excited about the next country that God will call me to? YES. Because that means my family will expand that much more. But the thought of saying goodbye to the family God has given me here...now that part hurts.
One thing I've learned this past year is that saying "Yes" and accepting God's call to be a full-time missionary is also saying "Yes" to the hard things. Yes, I get to share the gospel almost everyday, watch people's lives be transformed by God, and celebrate as new people accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. But I also say "Yes" to being away from my family and friends everyday, missing out on social events (such as best friends' weddings, friends/family having babies, fun family get together's, etc), and often times choosing to be alone.
Often times we hear the word "missionary" and think of the traveling, radical living for Christ, and living an adventurous life outside of the comfort zone. But what about the word "sacrifice"? I think all our faces went from :) .....to.... :O
We get all pumped about missions but then when it comes addressing sacrifice we shy away from that and start talking about all the positives.
Please don't get me wrong, there are SO MANY positives that outweigh the negatives. I mean clearly, or why else would I be doing what I am doing? But the fact of the matter is, is that there is SACRIFICE. But sacrifice is a choice. No one is making you say "Yes" to it. You are voluntarily saying "Yes", I know the good, the bad, and the in between that comes with this "Yes"...and I am still saying "Yes".
I knew that saying "Yes" to missions 4 years ago was just the beginning. In 4 more years all I know is that I will still be a full-time missionary. Where? You may ask. Well, as of now, only God knows. I'm sure 4 years from now I will have said goodbye 1,000 more times, and I'm sure it will still be just as hard. I'm sure I'll have even more family around the world creating more lists of the things I will miss. I'll still have hard days of feeling lonely and tired. I'm sure I'll have more days where I'm crying and praying to God to help me cope with all the emotions I'm feeling all at once. More days of me praying to God to help prepare me to let go once again and begin the process of being somewhere new.
But on days like today, the Lord dries my tears and gets me through. He comforts me, as He is the only one who understands. And my answer is still, "Yes". When my days are fantastic....when my days are challenging....my answer will remain, "Yes". Is it easy? No. Will leaving one place to share the gospel in another get easier? Probably not. Will there be days when I'm exploding with joy? Absolutely. Will there be days when I'm sprinting in the airport to be reunited with my loved ones? I'm sure of it. Will there be days when I am lost for words and all I can do is cry because I'm not sure when I'll see this person again? Without a doubt.
This is what my "Yes" looks like. Our "Yes" maybe doesn't look the same, but if you are a person saying "Yes" to the Lord, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being obedient. It's not easy. Keep running to the Lord whether you're having a great day or a hard day. Keep your head up on the hard days because tomorrow is a new day. Keep saying "Yes" because I promise you God's plans for you will never leave you in regret.
To God All Praise and Glory,
Megan
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Monday, April 10, 2017
Prayer, Financial, and Ministry Update--Only 28% Left To Go!!!
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"My Story For God's Glory"
"Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Hello Family and Friends! I hope you are all having a wonderful Spring so far! This past month has been a little extra exciting because I had the opportunity to visit a dear friend of mine that I met last year when I did YWAM. As I reflect back on my trip; I had no idea how much I truly needed that time to get out of my usual routine, time to process things with God, be alone with Him in nature, spend time encouraging my friend, meeting new people, and allow Him to fill me as I rest in His presence. As I was gazing up at all these gigantic and majestic mountains in Colorado, I couldn't help but think: "Wow, God, you are so BIG and I am so small." It's so easy to get stuck in a bubble; but when God shows you something new, it makes you realize that there is so much more going on around the world that you knew nothing about. Seeing these huge mountains also put my problems and worries that I had had at home in their place. As I continue to get closer to my monthly goal the more eager I become to finally depart for Colombia! I am currently at 72%, which means I only need 28% more in monthly donations pledged!! HALLELUJAH!! I was reminded that even though I have absolutely no control over when my finances come in, I know the one who has CONTROL OVER THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. The remaining $488.00 I need in monthly donations is so minuscule in the grand scheme of things. |
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| My friend, Becca, and I in Buena Vista, Colorado enjoying God's beautiful creation.
My prayer is that whatever problem or worry you may be facing, that this truth would speak to you: Because of Christ you already have VICTORY over whatever it is you may be facing! God's Word says it so perfectly in Matthew 6:26-30, "Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?"
This mountain in Colorado can only be a taste of what God's glory could possibly be like.
Specific Prayer Requests:
-My soon to be team member in Colombia, Raquel DeJesus, is back in Bogota'!! She has been on furlough this winter to visit family/friends and to share at churches about ACTION'S ministry in Colombia. Please pray for her as she reunites with the rest of my team and continues to share the Gospel in Bogota'! It's exciting that she will be back because that means that whenever my finances come in I will be living with her and she will be able to "take me under her wing" as I adjust to life in Bogota'.
-On March 31st there was a huge mudslide in Mocoa, Colombia--Leaving more than 250 dead and hundreds more are still missing. Please pray for the families and aftermath of this great tragedy.
-I have had many opportunities to talk about missions and share the Gospel with my coworkers as well as some of our clients. Prayer for more divine appointments and that I would be in tune with the Holy Spirit as I work.
-Pre-Praise for the remaining $488.00 that the Lord will bring in in His perfect timing!!!
-Prayer that I willl be patient and remain present while I am still in Minnesota
-This month I find out from a few churches how they feel led to support me. Prayer that they would hear clearly from the Lord and prayer of praise that they would like to partner with the Gospel being shared in Colombia!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my newsletter and actively being an important role in my living out the call that God has for my life!
To God All Praise and Glory,
Megan For easy online giving and additional information please visit: https://www.actioninternational.org/missionary/schilling/ All donations are tax-deductible and are accepted with the understanding that Action International Ministries has complete control and administration of their use. |
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Expectations
Who am I?
Who does the world see me as?
If today was my last, what would I be known for?
What would be my legacy?
Maybe you're like me and have thought about this a time or two. I've come to realize that everyone has some sort of expectation. Whether it be in a work setting, within our family or friend circles, or even just the first impressions we have with random people in our day to day lives.
If you're in your twenties like me, maybe these statements or questions sound familiar to you:
"Oh wow, you graduated from college a few years ago? You still haven't found a career to settle down into?"
"So, no luck finding a husband yet? My friend's sister's cousin has someone that I could set you up with!"
"I see you're still living with your parents, nice. No desire to find your own place yet?"
"Can I pray clarity over you? I'm sure things will get better soon!"
"You're doing missions alone? Don't you think it would be better if you were doing it with a husband?"
"Can I pray clarity over you? I'm sure things will get better soon!"
"You're doing missions alone? Don't you think it would be better if you were doing it with a husband?"
These are just a few of my favorites. But I'm sure there's many more that could be added to the list. I've had to remind myself from time to time that I'm sure these people really mean well. Most people are coming from a caring place and are just wanting to help. I know I'm probably guilty of doing the same thing.
To be honest though, sometimes I can't help but walk away from a conversation like that and think, "Am I doing something wrong?" I start comparing myself to the people around me and begin to wonder," God, why am I not where those people are at? How come I'm not where I thought I would be?" I begin to realize that I have set expectations on myself as well. Whether I notice it or not, in the back of my mind I kind of have a rough expectation of the order in which my life "should" go. First comes the love, then comes the marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage?
God has really challenged me to reflect in this area. Sometimes we try so hard to fit the mold and expectations of others, or even our own expectations; but in the midst of all that we lose ourselves and wonder who we are. I've come to realize that every day is a constant act of surrender. Loosening our grip on trying to take control and remember who's life it truly is. God created me exactly how He wanted me to be. So why am I trying to change that or floor the gas pedal to get there?
It's exhausting to try to be the person that everyone else(myself included) wants me to be. Now, I'm not saying that we should become lazy and not desire to grow, improve in our weaknesses, and become more like Jesus. That definitely takes time, patience, endurance, and is a good thing. I'm talking more about the surface, materialistic, earthly things that we are trying to change to please others or ourselves.
Each of our stories are different. That's one amazing thing about our Creator! He didn't make us all the same. He made us all unique and special. We maybe won't understand it until later in life or maybe not until we are in Heaven, but God promises that He has an intentional purpose for everything and for each and every one of us. This reminded me of a C.S Lewis quote I once heard:
That's something that is so refreshing about having a personal relationship with God. We don't have to pretend. We don't have to be something we are not. We don't have to have all the answers. We don't have to have it all together. He meets us where we are at every single time we approach Him and accepts us exactly the way we are!
God gave me this huge revelation the other day, that I would like to close with. There is only ONE (insert your name here) and God relationship! The things that He is teaching, growing, and challenging you in is not supposed to be the same as those around you. If we were all in the same place in life, our relationship with God would all be the same. Our relationship with Him would not be unique, special, or personal. Our understanding is so limited and simple minded. Sure, on the outside we may see that those around us are getting promotions at work, getting engaged, married, or having kids. From our perspective their life may look "perfect" and like they "have it all together", but I am realizing that during every season of life there will always be things that the Lord is growing and challenging me in. Maybe our friend needs to get a promotion in his or her job to realize that an earthly job title doesn't make them feel better about themselves. Maybe our friend is needing to realize that even though he or she is married, he or she can only be fulfilled by Jesus. It dawned on me: There could be so many behind the scene things that I am unaware of. I could use my time trying to figure out why those around me are "getting what I want", or I could focus on the beautiful things that God is teaching me and showing me presently in my life.
So I would like to encourage you today: Don't compare yourself to those around you. Don't be hard on yourself. Don't expect to have all the answers and have your life all together. Because the truth is no matter where you're at in life, it will always be a challenge. In every stage of our lives we will be tempted to put other things before God. Life is not a destination to perfection. It is a journey. It's an adventure that God wants to personally pursue with you. He wants to continue to show you who are in Him. The people around you DO NOT define who you are. They shouldn't be telling you where you should be in life or who you should be. Allow the Lord to speak all of that to you in HIS PERFECT TIMING.
God has really challenged me to reflect in this area. Sometimes we try so hard to fit the mold and expectations of others, or even our own expectations; but in the midst of all that we lose ourselves and wonder who we are. I've come to realize that every day is a constant act of surrender. Loosening our grip on trying to take control and remember who's life it truly is. God created me exactly how He wanted me to be. So why am I trying to change that or floor the gas pedal to get there?
It's exhausting to try to be the person that everyone else(myself included) wants me to be. Now, I'm not saying that we should become lazy and not desire to grow, improve in our weaknesses, and become more like Jesus. That definitely takes time, patience, endurance, and is a good thing. I'm talking more about the surface, materialistic, earthly things that we are trying to change to please others or ourselves.
Each of our stories are different. That's one amazing thing about our Creator! He didn't make us all the same. He made us all unique and special. We maybe won't understand it until later in life or maybe not until we are in Heaven, but God promises that He has an intentional purpose for everything and for each and every one of us. This reminded me of a C.S Lewis quote I once heard:
Do you remember that amazing moment when it finally clicked in your head that you weren't just Megan, or Ben, or Sarah, or Drew? That your life is so much bigger than that? That your identity in Christ is who you TRULY are! Maybe you haven't experienced this moment yet. But I pray that we all have this revelation, not just once, but are reminded of that every day.
That's something that is so refreshing about having a personal relationship with God. We don't have to pretend. We don't have to be something we are not. We don't have to have all the answers. We don't have to have it all together. He meets us where we are at every single time we approach Him and accepts us exactly the way we are!
God gave me this huge revelation the other day, that I would like to close with. There is only ONE (insert your name here) and God relationship! The things that He is teaching, growing, and challenging you in is not supposed to be the same as those around you. If we were all in the same place in life, our relationship with God would all be the same. Our relationship with Him would not be unique, special, or personal. Our understanding is so limited and simple minded. Sure, on the outside we may see that those around us are getting promotions at work, getting engaged, married, or having kids. From our perspective their life may look "perfect" and like they "have it all together", but I am realizing that during every season of life there will always be things that the Lord is growing and challenging me in. Maybe our friend needs to get a promotion in his or her job to realize that an earthly job title doesn't make them feel better about themselves. Maybe our friend is needing to realize that even though he or she is married, he or she can only be fulfilled by Jesus. It dawned on me: There could be so many behind the scene things that I am unaware of. I could use my time trying to figure out why those around me are "getting what I want", or I could focus on the beautiful things that God is teaching me and showing me presently in my life.
So I would like to encourage you today: Don't compare yourself to those around you. Don't be hard on yourself. Don't expect to have all the answers and have your life all together. Because the truth is no matter where you're at in life, it will always be a challenge. In every stage of our lives we will be tempted to put other things before God. Life is not a destination to perfection. It is a journey. It's an adventure that God wants to personally pursue with you. He wants to continue to show you who are in Him. The people around you DO NOT define who you are. They shouldn't be telling you where you should be in life or who you should be. Allow the Lord to speak all of that to you in HIS PERFECT TIMING.
To God All Praise and Glory,
Megan
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Little Did I Know
I'm still learning about this today, but wow, looking back that process of discovering His best and what God wanted was SO BEAUTIFUL. In life, it is so easy to get caught up in : I'm at point A, now I want to be at point B. But often times I forget to stop and appreciate the beauty that happens in the middle of those points. It was fun finding out where God wanted me to go next and not having every step planned out in front of me. The first organization I was drawn to was Action International Ministries, which is currently the organization I am pursuing missions in Colombia through(God is so awesome!!!). At the time I felt like God wasn't saying no, but He was telling me not yet. It definitely confused me because it seemed like a perfect fit. The only thing was that at the time I wasn't ready to commit to full time/long term missions, so because of that God guided me to YWAM(Youth With A Mission) in Kona, Hawaii. God knew that I needed more preparation, shaping, and that I needed Him to prune me more into the woman He intended me to be. My experience in YWAM was exactly that! I had no idea who I was, because before my discipleship training school I was looking for my identity within myself instead of looking to my Creator.
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| Above: Teaching Bible Class at an orphanage in Thailand Below: Building relationships with street children in the Philippines |
This morning I was paging though my photo album where I had documented my trip to Hawaii, Thailand, and the Philippines and its amazing how all the memories so quickly came flooding back. I still can't believe that that was a whole year ago!! I remember not knowing a single person on campus. I remember my first day of lecture phase, and how I went in thinking that I already knew everything about God because I've known Him my whole life. The word humble smacked me in the face that day to say the least haha. I remember walking away that first day thinking, "Oh my gosh...what am I thinking? I don't know God!! I thought I had Him all figured out, but that just shows how much I still don't know about Him! For the rest of my life I will discover new things about Him that I didn't know before!!". I remember meeting new friends everyday from all around the world. I remember my team becoming my family. I remember feeling so at home in each country(or state) I was in. I remember being stretched in ways I had never been stretched before. I remember prayer having a whole new meaning after we had a week about hearing God's voice. I remember having to rely fully on the Holy Spirit before sharing your testimony or teaching a class. I remember sitting in little huts filled with families where all you could do was smile because neither of you knew each other's language. I remember choreographing my first dance and seeing how the Holy Spirit can move through the movements and lyrics of a song. I remember how hard it was leaving the people you had built relationships with in each country, but also a sense of joy because I know I will see them again in Heaven. I remember going into YWAM thinking, "Okay Lord, I know you want me here for the next five months, but after that I have no idea what to do after. I'll need you to give me a sign or speak really loudly what you want me to do next because I don't have a clue." Little did I know, this mission trip was the start of a new way of life. It wasn't just a mission trip. It was a chapter that revealed to me what God's call was for my life and what my purpose is. I'm still figuring it out. I still don't have all the answers. I still have more stretching and growing to do. I still fight going back to my old habits, of wanting to be in control and to know what's next. I still don't have it all together. I still stumble and make mistakes. But God has made this truth clear to me: No matter where I go. No matter what my earthly job title may be. No matter if I'm single or married. No matter what. My purpose is to live my life as Christ's ambassador. My purpose is to point those around me to Jesus. My purpose is to share the hope of Jesus Christ with the nations. My purpose is to make God known so that He may receive ALL GLORY. But in all of that, realizing that none of it is because of me, it's all because of Jesus, Apart from Him, I can do nothing.
To God All Praise and Glory,
Megan
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Dear, Heavenly Father.
Dear Dad,
Wow, a lot has changed since I blogged last! It's crazy what can happen over a few short months! The reality that I could be leaving soon is still not sinking in. I've been dreaming for so long about being a missionary in Colombia, that I almost can't picture what it will be like the day this dream becomes a reality. When I found out that I am over half way to my financial goal, I was terrified! Dad, I feel like I am numb. I feel like I should be jumping for joy trying to get the remaining 40% raised ASAP...but instead I just feel frozen. It's an emotion I can't explain. I feel like I want to do a cartwheel and dance because of how happy I am, but at the same exact time I want to curl up in my bed and not leave. I'm glad you understand exactly how I feel because I still don't know how to put it into words. I'm scared, God. Scared of being alone. Scared of being away from my friends and family. Scared that everything I am picturing Colombia to be will be drastically different when I get there. The truth is: I have no idea what I am getting myself into.
Thank you for cloaking me with your truth these last few days! I have needed to hear everything you have told me whether it be in your word, through church, or through other people. God, I LOVE that about you! You are so intentional to each and every need of your children. Almost like you're whispering, "It's okay, Megan. I know how you feel. I know your emotions. I know the lies that you are believing. I know what you need to hear. I know you're scared. I know you're happy, I know you're sad. I know you may be doubting a little bit right now. But guess what?! I LOVE YOU. I HEAR YOU. I AM EQUIPPING YOU. I AM SHAPING YOU. I AM MOLDING YOU INTO THE WOMAN I INTENDED YOU TO BE. I AM ALREADY IN COLOMBIA. I AM RIGHT BESIDE YOU. I LOVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD. I SEE YOUR DESIRES. I SEE YOUR DREAMS. ALL I CAN SAY IS TRUST ME. ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU MY BEST."
Dad, I don't know how people do life without you! I would be such a pointless disaster without you! I would be so hopeless. So lost. But hey, that's the root of why I am going to Colombia! I don't want to see people living without you!! I don't want to just sit back and enjoy the gift of knowing you while others are still lost. Still searching. Still striving. Still trying to fill this empty hole inside of them. That hole in each and every one of us that can only be filled BY YOU!
God, I'm sorry for the times that I try to fill that hole with something else other than you. Lately I've been praying and thinking about my future husband a lot.What is he doing? What is he learning these days from being in your Word? Is he pursuing missions in some form to? Sometimes I just can't help but think how much easier it would be if I was starting this season in Colombia with him. I'm sure there's a reason why we aren't. Maybe you're calling him to stay in the states. Maybe you're calling him to a different country. My guess is you're still preparing us for each other. Preparing us so that you can receive ultimate glory through our relationship. God, I pray that he is continuing to fall in love with you more and more every day! Please help us be patient, because if he is feeling the same way as me, we can not wait to be together! Lord,help us to trust you; even when we don't understand. I am so excited for the future! Yeah, it may be unclear at times, but I know from past experience that you always have something greater than we could possibly imagine. Help us to keep our eyes and focus on you.
Help me to have faith like Rebekah. She didn't know where Abraham's servant was taking her and she didn't know her future husband, Isaac. She left all the comfort and security of her family/home because you told her to go. She didn't question it, she just said "Yes, I will go". I may not know the land, culture, language, or people but because you are telling me to go, I want to go. In the moments of doubt or worry, I am going to CLING TO YOUR TRUTH AND WORD. It never changes. Praise You for that!!! No matter what emotions I feel in a day or all at once, you stay the same!! There is always a reason for me to be joyful, because your grace, mercy, and goodness never changes! God you are ALWAYS good. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being my CONSTANT! Thank you for the Gospel, because the Gospel changes everything!!!
I genuinely can't wait to see what you have in store!! Keep me focused. Continue to open my eyes to your Kingdom. Use whatever emotion I feel for your glory. In my weakness shine through. In my joy shine through. I pray that when people see me, they don't just see Megan, but rather they see you. Help me to be more like you. Thank you for this beautiful life, Dad. It is truly an honor and blessing to wake up and serve you every day. I love you so much!
Love your daughter,
Megan
Wow, a lot has changed since I blogged last! It's crazy what can happen over a few short months! The reality that I could be leaving soon is still not sinking in. I've been dreaming for so long about being a missionary in Colombia, that I almost can't picture what it will be like the day this dream becomes a reality. When I found out that I am over half way to my financial goal, I was terrified! Dad, I feel like I am numb. I feel like I should be jumping for joy trying to get the remaining 40% raised ASAP...but instead I just feel frozen. It's an emotion I can't explain. I feel like I want to do a cartwheel and dance because of how happy I am, but at the same exact time I want to curl up in my bed and not leave. I'm glad you understand exactly how I feel because I still don't know how to put it into words. I'm scared, God. Scared of being alone. Scared of being away from my friends and family. Scared that everything I am picturing Colombia to be will be drastically different when I get there. The truth is: I have no idea what I am getting myself into.
Thank you for cloaking me with your truth these last few days! I have needed to hear everything you have told me whether it be in your word, through church, or through other people. God, I LOVE that about you! You are so intentional to each and every need of your children. Almost like you're whispering, "It's okay, Megan. I know how you feel. I know your emotions. I know the lies that you are believing. I know what you need to hear. I know you're scared. I know you're happy, I know you're sad. I know you may be doubting a little bit right now. But guess what?! I LOVE YOU. I HEAR YOU. I AM EQUIPPING YOU. I AM SHAPING YOU. I AM MOLDING YOU INTO THE WOMAN I INTENDED YOU TO BE. I AM ALREADY IN COLOMBIA. I AM RIGHT BESIDE YOU. I LOVE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD. I SEE YOUR DESIRES. I SEE YOUR DREAMS. ALL I CAN SAY IS TRUST ME. ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU MY BEST."
Dad, I don't know how people do life without you! I would be such a pointless disaster without you! I would be so hopeless. So lost. But hey, that's the root of why I am going to Colombia! I don't want to see people living without you!! I don't want to just sit back and enjoy the gift of knowing you while others are still lost. Still searching. Still striving. Still trying to fill this empty hole inside of them. That hole in each and every one of us that can only be filled BY YOU!
God, I'm sorry for the times that I try to fill that hole with something else other than you. Lately I've been praying and thinking about my future husband a lot.What is he doing? What is he learning these days from being in your Word? Is he pursuing missions in some form to? Sometimes I just can't help but think how much easier it would be if I was starting this season in Colombia with him. I'm sure there's a reason why we aren't. Maybe you're calling him to stay in the states. Maybe you're calling him to a different country. My guess is you're still preparing us for each other. Preparing us so that you can receive ultimate glory through our relationship. God, I pray that he is continuing to fall in love with you more and more every day! Please help us be patient, because if he is feeling the same way as me, we can not wait to be together! Lord,help us to trust you; even when we don't understand. I am so excited for the future! Yeah, it may be unclear at times, but I know from past experience that you always have something greater than we could possibly imagine. Help us to keep our eyes and focus on you.
Help me to have faith like Rebekah. She didn't know where Abraham's servant was taking her and she didn't know her future husband, Isaac. She left all the comfort and security of her family/home because you told her to go. She didn't question it, she just said "Yes, I will go". I may not know the land, culture, language, or people but because you are telling me to go, I want to go. In the moments of doubt or worry, I am going to CLING TO YOUR TRUTH AND WORD. It never changes. Praise You for that!!! No matter what emotions I feel in a day or all at once, you stay the same!! There is always a reason for me to be joyful, because your grace, mercy, and goodness never changes! God you are ALWAYS good. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for being my CONSTANT! Thank you for the Gospel, because the Gospel changes everything!!!
I genuinely can't wait to see what you have in store!! Keep me focused. Continue to open my eyes to your Kingdom. Use whatever emotion I feel for your glory. In my weakness shine through. In my joy shine through. I pray that when people see me, they don't just see Megan, but rather they see you. Help me to be more like you. Thank you for this beautiful life, Dad. It is truly an honor and blessing to wake up and serve you every day. I love you so much!
Love your daughter,
Megan
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Six Beautiful Things God Has Been Teaching Me About Singleness
Hello Family, friends, and followers!
I would like to share something that I have spent a long time praying about, something that the Lord has been teaching me, and something that I feel like He wants me to share!
As I posted last time, this season of being home has been a different, but amazing one. I couldn't wait until my next adventure that will be happening later in the year, so I have been pursuing missions here in the US. A common question asked by friends or people I have been meeting has been,"So what do you do for work?" Or, "What do you do for a living now?". For a while it took me forever to explain, because to be honest, I still didn't really know what I was doing haha. But now, I have come to realize that that is okay. I am confident in my calling, confident that my first and foremost job is to be an ambassador for Christ, and I am confident in who God has created me to be. That's all I need; I have come to realize. Sure, I may not know all the details, but I don't want that to hold me back from the big things that I do know that God has called me into.
Along with God teaching me to not look to an earthly title, but to boldly walk in the calling that He has for my life, He has also been teaching me another HUGE thing.
God has been teaching me so much in this season of singleness! This post has taken me a long time to process/pray through, but I have come to about six beautiful things that God has been teaching me about singleness!
1. The expectation of a "Hollywood" love story.
It is amazing how quickly Hollywood can form a picture of what marriage and falling in love look like! It blew me away when I over heard a group of 3rd and 4th grade girls and boys talking about kissing, being married, and being in love the other day. At first I thought they were just playing around or pretending but as I was listening from a far, I couldn't help but think, "What in the world are these kids watching on TV?!"
It got me thinking, if kids are already being fed all these preconceived expectations of marriage and falling in love, how much more then has Hollywood shaped my perspective on falling in love over the years? Don't worry, I am not going to continue on a tangent about how bad Hollywood is, how they have it all wrong, and how we better have nothing to do with it. But I would challenge you to think about what your perception of marriage is.
Are you picturing that one day; the perfect person will come in, say all the right things, sweep you off your feet, and from the moment you meet him or her you will just know, "She or he is THE ONE."
Honestly, my heart goes out for the guys on this one! Hollywood has basically painted an impossible role to fill. According to the movies, you guys have to: Be sweet but manly. Say all the right things but really listen to everything we say(because in Hollywood the guy picks up on all your hints and can now orchestrate this all day perfect dream date). Be handsome and charming but don't be full of yourself. Step up and be confident(because in Hollywood the guy knows right away that this is the love of his life and has no problem going over the top to profess to everyone that he is interested in you). Buy us nice meaningful gifts but don't be too materialistic. The list could go on and on, but this Hollywood guy can basically read every woman's mind.
When I step back and think about the expectations I have put on guys in the past, one thing comes to mind. Do they expect some of those same things out of me? That is a lot of pressure to put on someone, because the reality is, we are all imperfect. We can try as hard as we can, but at the end of the day we all fall short each and every day. I am not perfect. So how can I put that expectation on someone else and be discouraged when they don't say or do the right thing?
Now, I'm not suggesting going around and saying things like, "All men are the same. They all are just jerks and will do nothing but break my heart." " I will never find my perfect dream guy, so I might as well give up and accept that I am going to be single forever." Ladies, I am here to tell you that there are great guys out there, and it's kind of insulting to lump every man in the "Cheating, no good, nothing but lies" category.
2. Fulfillment
Am I looking for someone to make me feel whole, fix all my problems, and make me feel happy? This has been a huge thing that God has been working on with me this past year! In all my past relationships I have most definitely let them dictate how much worth and value I have. Which as you know, we are all human, and our emotions change quite frequently. So sometimes I would feel like the most special woman in the world, and other days I would feel like I'm not beautiful enough or good enough to be with that person.
Praise God, that it has finally sunk into my brain that there is no one that will ever fulfill every need or desire I have except for Jesus! Even when the man that God intends me to marry does come along, this man will never be able to fulfill me the way Jesus does. Being married to someone does not automatically fix all your problems and from what I have heard from others; marriage by no means is an easy thing. Someone once shared with me, when you think about it, marriage is two people who sin every day and fitting them together as one. My first thought was, man, I have a hard enough time sorting through my own issues with God, and I don't even have another person in the mix with that yet. But that is one beautiful thing I have realized about marriage. At the end of the day these two people that love each other very much can always come together and meet each other at the core of their relationship, which is hopefully God. God designed marriage as a blessing. He designed two people to come together, use both of their gifts to better serve His kingdom, and ultimately bring God glory in and through their marriage.
Your husband or wife is not intended to fill a void in your heart, that place is intended for Jesus; whether you are single, in a dating relationship, or married. When you are married your most important mission or ministry is to continue to point your spouse to Jesus. Things such as: challenging them to be more like Jesus, enhancing the gifts that God has given them, and encouraging one another when days are tough are all things that we have the privilege of doing day to day in our marriage. Your job isn't to fix that person and strive to make them happy every hour of the day, but to point them to the one that can ultimately fulfill them in every way they need, and that's Jesus!
3. Contentment
This flows pretty well with fulfillment. Being content with the season that God has me in now and not always looking to the future. Do we really want to look back on our lives only to see that the whole time we were living in the future?
A few months ago I was catching up with a friend after my five month mission trip. Before I left, every time I saw her the same subject came up every time: "I just don't understand how I am this old already and I still don't have a guy in my life." "I hate being single. It is literally the worst." "Why does everyone else my age seem to be getting engaged and married? Why don't I deserve that happiness too?" I remember feeling like I wanted to bash my head on the table and just tell her, "I sure hope your next boyfriend isn't around here to hear you talking like this!"
But just wait, it gets better. After getting back from my mission trip her story or main subject to talk about had finally changed, except now I was hearing: "Oh my gosh, Megan. Being in a relationship is so stressful. Everything always has to be a compromise and I'm the one who is always giving in." "Things are going to be so much better though when we're married! Then there will be a solid commitment and we can make plans to have kids! Man, I am so excited to plan my wedding!"
*Insert picture of someone bashing their head on the table*
I literally had to bite my tongue so I didn't blurt out, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!"
Man, this is why God is God and I am not!! My patience with the human race would have died out decades ago. Probably sooner than that actually! I am absolutely speaking to myself here as well, but how often do our prayers turn into lists of complaining or wishing we had someone or something to make us even more happy? When was the last time I prayed thanking God for having me in the season that I am in and that I will joyfully wait for His perfect timing for the next season?
There's always going to be something bigger, better, or nicer when it comes to material things. The second you have purchased this thing that is supposedly going to make you happy or you have reached a new step in a relationship, our brains are already looking forward to the next thing or next upgrade to come.
4. Thankfulness
Chances are most of you reading this have gone through some sort of heart break, rejection, or hurt feelings with the opposite gender. It is so easy to become bitter towards your ex and think, "Well, why did I have to go through all that trouble just to find out that they aren't the one for me?" "Why did they have to cheat on me? What did I do to deserve that?" "How come this person that I am really interested in doesn't seem to feel the same way?" "Why can't I just find "THE ONE'' already, and skip over all this hurt and confusion?"
If you are under the impression that you are the only person that feels this way, that is a lie. You are not alone. I have come to realize though, that instead of questioning God and being angry with Him or that person that has hurt you, we can choose to be thankful. I know, I sound crazy don't I?
But I have realized it so much easier being grateful than to harbor bitterness in my heart. The last break up I had is great example of that. At the time, I was so upset and frustrated that things didn't work out. I couldn't understand why God had me go through years with this person, linking all these soul ties to this person(oofta, I could have a whole new post about soul ties), only to face years later praying that God would remove all of the ties made and restore my heart back to the way it was. But now looking back, I am praising God because He opened my eyes to what was really going on. I had made this guy such an idol in my life that I was willing to do just about anything to get this guy to want to marry me. I lost myself in trying to become the woman that he wanted instead of walking into the woman that God designed me to be. I literally can not praise God enough that He 100% was protecting my heart from future damage when things were falling apart! That's the thing about God, He wants nothing but the best for us! We doesn't want us to just get by or settle! He wants us to have THEE BEST and MOST FRUITFUL LIFE. I think often times we get in the way of that by thinking we know ourselves better than He does!
5. Prayerfully Pursuing My Husband
You or I may not know who our husband or wife is yet but that doesn't mean that during the time that God is preparing us for that person we can't pray for them!
I have been praying for my husband ever since I was little, but these past few years have been way more intentional. God knows who my husband is and knows what He needs! I would encourage you guys to just sit down with God and ask Him what your spouse needs prayer for(whether you are single or married). It is amazing to hear what God brings up and how He will lead you to pray specific things for him or her.
I can't promise that this will make singleness any easier for you. But I know for me it helps me to realize that being single is not always so negative. It can actually be exciting to see all the things that God is teaching you in preparation for your husband or wife!
6. Last but not least, Choosing To Be Happy NOW!
I feel like this is a good last thing to leave with you. We have the power to choose to be happy RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! We can be in the mindset of, " I will be happy when...", or we can choose to be filled with God's joy now! I have come to realize the power of praying out loud and declaring truth over yourself. IT IS SO POWERFUL! I find that the days that I am grumpy or not happy with where I am in life, can be changed in an instant if I give it to the Lord! For example, declaring who you are in Christ, declaring who God is, and rebuking the lie that you are currently believing about yourself can turn your day around real quick! Don't let yourself, Satan, or anyone else rob you of the joy that you have each and every day through Jesus Christ!!
Below is a really encouraging Facebook post I came across that I thought I would end with!
To God All Praise and Glory,
Megan
I would like to share something that I have spent a long time praying about, something that the Lord has been teaching me, and something that I feel like He wants me to share!
As I posted last time, this season of being home has been a different, but amazing one. I couldn't wait until my next adventure that will be happening later in the year, so I have been pursuing missions here in the US. A common question asked by friends or people I have been meeting has been,"So what do you do for work?" Or, "What do you do for a living now?". For a while it took me forever to explain, because to be honest, I still didn't really know what I was doing haha. But now, I have come to realize that that is okay. I am confident in my calling, confident that my first and foremost job is to be an ambassador for Christ, and I am confident in who God has created me to be. That's all I need; I have come to realize. Sure, I may not know all the details, but I don't want that to hold me back from the big things that I do know that God has called me into.
Along with God teaching me to not look to an earthly title, but to boldly walk in the calling that He has for my life, He has also been teaching me another HUGE thing.
God has been teaching me so much in this season of singleness! This post has taken me a long time to process/pray through, but I have come to about six beautiful things that God has been teaching me about singleness!
1. The expectation of a "Hollywood" love story.
It is amazing how quickly Hollywood can form a picture of what marriage and falling in love look like! It blew me away when I over heard a group of 3rd and 4th grade girls and boys talking about kissing, being married, and being in love the other day. At first I thought they were just playing around or pretending but as I was listening from a far, I couldn't help but think, "What in the world are these kids watching on TV?!"
It got me thinking, if kids are already being fed all these preconceived expectations of marriage and falling in love, how much more then has Hollywood shaped my perspective on falling in love over the years? Don't worry, I am not going to continue on a tangent about how bad Hollywood is, how they have it all wrong, and how we better have nothing to do with it. But I would challenge you to think about what your perception of marriage is.
Are you picturing that one day; the perfect person will come in, say all the right things, sweep you off your feet, and from the moment you meet him or her you will just know, "She or he is THE ONE."
Honestly, my heart goes out for the guys on this one! Hollywood has basically painted an impossible role to fill. According to the movies, you guys have to: Be sweet but manly. Say all the right things but really listen to everything we say(because in Hollywood the guy picks up on all your hints and can now orchestrate this all day perfect dream date). Be handsome and charming but don't be full of yourself. Step up and be confident(because in Hollywood the guy knows right away that this is the love of his life and has no problem going over the top to profess to everyone that he is interested in you). Buy us nice meaningful gifts but don't be too materialistic. The list could go on and on, but this Hollywood guy can basically read every woman's mind.
When I step back and think about the expectations I have put on guys in the past, one thing comes to mind. Do they expect some of those same things out of me? That is a lot of pressure to put on someone, because the reality is, we are all imperfect. We can try as hard as we can, but at the end of the day we all fall short each and every day. I am not perfect. So how can I put that expectation on someone else and be discouraged when they don't say or do the right thing?
Now, I'm not suggesting going around and saying things like, "All men are the same. They all are just jerks and will do nothing but break my heart." " I will never find my perfect dream guy, so I might as well give up and accept that I am going to be single forever." Ladies, I am here to tell you that there are great guys out there, and it's kind of insulting to lump every man in the "Cheating, no good, nothing but lies" category.
2. Fulfillment
Am I looking for someone to make me feel whole, fix all my problems, and make me feel happy? This has been a huge thing that God has been working on with me this past year! In all my past relationships I have most definitely let them dictate how much worth and value I have. Which as you know, we are all human, and our emotions change quite frequently. So sometimes I would feel like the most special woman in the world, and other days I would feel like I'm not beautiful enough or good enough to be with that person.
Praise God, that it has finally sunk into my brain that there is no one that will ever fulfill every need or desire I have except for Jesus! Even when the man that God intends me to marry does come along, this man will never be able to fulfill me the way Jesus does. Being married to someone does not automatically fix all your problems and from what I have heard from others; marriage by no means is an easy thing. Someone once shared with me, when you think about it, marriage is two people who sin every day and fitting them together as one. My first thought was, man, I have a hard enough time sorting through my own issues with God, and I don't even have another person in the mix with that yet. But that is one beautiful thing I have realized about marriage. At the end of the day these two people that love each other very much can always come together and meet each other at the core of their relationship, which is hopefully God. God designed marriage as a blessing. He designed two people to come together, use both of their gifts to better serve His kingdom, and ultimately bring God glory in and through their marriage.
Your husband or wife is not intended to fill a void in your heart, that place is intended for Jesus; whether you are single, in a dating relationship, or married. When you are married your most important mission or ministry is to continue to point your spouse to Jesus. Things such as: challenging them to be more like Jesus, enhancing the gifts that God has given them, and encouraging one another when days are tough are all things that we have the privilege of doing day to day in our marriage. Your job isn't to fix that person and strive to make them happy every hour of the day, but to point them to the one that can ultimately fulfill them in every way they need, and that's Jesus!
3. Contentment
This flows pretty well with fulfillment. Being content with the season that God has me in now and not always looking to the future. Do we really want to look back on our lives only to see that the whole time we were living in the future?
A few months ago I was catching up with a friend after my five month mission trip. Before I left, every time I saw her the same subject came up every time: "I just don't understand how I am this old already and I still don't have a guy in my life." "I hate being single. It is literally the worst." "Why does everyone else my age seem to be getting engaged and married? Why don't I deserve that happiness too?" I remember feeling like I wanted to bash my head on the table and just tell her, "I sure hope your next boyfriend isn't around here to hear you talking like this!"
But just wait, it gets better. After getting back from my mission trip her story or main subject to talk about had finally changed, except now I was hearing: "Oh my gosh, Megan. Being in a relationship is so stressful. Everything always has to be a compromise and I'm the one who is always giving in." "Things are going to be so much better though when we're married! Then there will be a solid commitment and we can make plans to have kids! Man, I am so excited to plan my wedding!"
*Insert picture of someone bashing their head on the table*
I literally had to bite my tongue so I didn't blurt out, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!"
Man, this is why God is God and I am not!! My patience with the human race would have died out decades ago. Probably sooner than that actually! I am absolutely speaking to myself here as well, but how often do our prayers turn into lists of complaining or wishing we had someone or something to make us even more happy? When was the last time I prayed thanking God for having me in the season that I am in and that I will joyfully wait for His perfect timing for the next season?
There's always going to be something bigger, better, or nicer when it comes to material things. The second you have purchased this thing that is supposedly going to make you happy or you have reached a new step in a relationship, our brains are already looking forward to the next thing or next upgrade to come.
4. Thankfulness
Chances are most of you reading this have gone through some sort of heart break, rejection, or hurt feelings with the opposite gender. It is so easy to become bitter towards your ex and think, "Well, why did I have to go through all that trouble just to find out that they aren't the one for me?" "Why did they have to cheat on me? What did I do to deserve that?" "How come this person that I am really interested in doesn't seem to feel the same way?" "Why can't I just find "THE ONE'' already, and skip over all this hurt and confusion?"
If you are under the impression that you are the only person that feels this way, that is a lie. You are not alone. I have come to realize though, that instead of questioning God and being angry with Him or that person that has hurt you, we can choose to be thankful. I know, I sound crazy don't I?
But I have realized it so much easier being grateful than to harbor bitterness in my heart. The last break up I had is great example of that. At the time, I was so upset and frustrated that things didn't work out. I couldn't understand why God had me go through years with this person, linking all these soul ties to this person(oofta, I could have a whole new post about soul ties), only to face years later praying that God would remove all of the ties made and restore my heart back to the way it was. But now looking back, I am praising God because He opened my eyes to what was really going on. I had made this guy such an idol in my life that I was willing to do just about anything to get this guy to want to marry me. I lost myself in trying to become the woman that he wanted instead of walking into the woman that God designed me to be. I literally can not praise God enough that He 100% was protecting my heart from future damage when things were falling apart! That's the thing about God, He wants nothing but the best for us! We doesn't want us to just get by or settle! He wants us to have THEE BEST and MOST FRUITFUL LIFE. I think often times we get in the way of that by thinking we know ourselves better than He does!
5. Prayerfully Pursuing My Husband
You or I may not know who our husband or wife is yet but that doesn't mean that during the time that God is preparing us for that person we can't pray for them!
I have been praying for my husband ever since I was little, but these past few years have been way more intentional. God knows who my husband is and knows what He needs! I would encourage you guys to just sit down with God and ask Him what your spouse needs prayer for(whether you are single or married). It is amazing to hear what God brings up and how He will lead you to pray specific things for him or her.
I can't promise that this will make singleness any easier for you. But I know for me it helps me to realize that being single is not always so negative. It can actually be exciting to see all the things that God is teaching you in preparation for your husband or wife!
6. Last but not least, Choosing To Be Happy NOW!
I feel like this is a good last thing to leave with you. We have the power to choose to be happy RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! We can be in the mindset of, " I will be happy when...", or we can choose to be filled with God's joy now! I have come to realize the power of praying out loud and declaring truth over yourself. IT IS SO POWERFUL! I find that the days that I am grumpy or not happy with where I am in life, can be changed in an instant if I give it to the Lord! For example, declaring who you are in Christ, declaring who God is, and rebuking the lie that you are currently believing about yourself can turn your day around real quick! Don't let yourself, Satan, or anyone else rob you of the joy that you have each and every day through Jesus Christ!!
Below is a really encouraging Facebook post I came across that I thought I would end with!
To God All Praise and Glory,
Megan
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
The Season of Being Home!
Hello Family and Friends!
Sorry it has taken so long for an update! It has been quite the adjustment being home! It has been so wonderful though being reunited with my family and friends that I have missed so much! Here on this post, I will share what it's been like being home, what I'm doing now, and I'm so excited to share what I will be doing NEXT! :D
So to start, I have been home for over a month now! Overall I have adjusted really well, and to be honest I thought it was going to be a lot harder coming back home! I will say, however, that there are definitely moments where I feel like I don't fit in, moments where I can definitely see I have changed a lot and those around me have stayed the same, and moments where I fight to go back to my old ways of thinking. But God has been SO faithful and I think He is 100% the reason why it has been so easy to transition back into "real life"! Before my team and I left to go home, we had a week of debriefing in Hawaii. One of our leaders, Auntie Dorien, shared with us that the same God that has been with us this whole 5 month trip is the same God that is going home with us! God NEVER changes! This really stuck with me coming home! No matter where I go, what I do next, and no matter how much things change around me, God is still the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow! He is my constant!
So basically what this season of being home has consisted of is: Spending quality time with my family and friends, working odd jobs(such as doing hair and part time babysitting jobs), being really involved in my church/being involved in my young adults group, and in general just focusing on my relationships! I have had so much joy being reunited with my amazing family and my second family at church!
And now for the golden question! What will I be doing next? *Drum roll*
Through God and all those that supported me prayerfully and/or financially during this trip I have found my calling/dream for the rest of my life! I am happy to share that I will be continuing with missions and hope that this will be my career/way of life! :D
I would just like to take a moment to thank all of you for helping me find and live my dream!! To say the least this trip has completely transformed my life and I am so unbelievably grateful to have the best support system behind me and along side me for this journey!!
Sorry it has taken so long for an update! It has been quite the adjustment being home! It has been so wonderful though being reunited with my family and friends that I have missed so much! Here on this post, I will share what it's been like being home, what I'm doing now, and I'm so excited to share what I will be doing NEXT! :D
So to start, I have been home for over a month now! Overall I have adjusted really well, and to be honest I thought it was going to be a lot harder coming back home! I will say, however, that there are definitely moments where I feel like I don't fit in, moments where I can definitely see I have changed a lot and those around me have stayed the same, and moments where I fight to go back to my old ways of thinking. But God has been SO faithful and I think He is 100% the reason why it has been so easy to transition back into "real life"! Before my team and I left to go home, we had a week of debriefing in Hawaii. One of our leaders, Auntie Dorien, shared with us that the same God that has been with us this whole 5 month trip is the same God that is going home with us! God NEVER changes! This really stuck with me coming home! No matter where I go, what I do next, and no matter how much things change around me, God is still the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow! He is my constant!
So basically what this season of being home has consisted of is: Spending quality time with my family and friends, working odd jobs(such as doing hair and part time babysitting jobs), being really involved in my church/being involved in my young adults group, and in general just focusing on my relationships! I have had so much joy being reunited with my amazing family and my second family at church!
And now for the golden question! What will I be doing next? *Drum roll*
Through God and all those that supported me prayerfully and/or financially during this trip I have found my calling/dream for the rest of my life! I am happy to share that I will be continuing with missions and hope that this will be my career/way of life! :D
I would just like to take a moment to thank all of you for helping me find and live my dream!! To say the least this trip has completely transformed my life and I am so unbelievably grateful to have the best support system behind me and along side me for this journey!!
Hopefully this video will upload, if it doesn't I have posted it on my Facebook page as well! If it doesn't upload, it is basically answering common questions I have been getting from people, such as: How have you changed since your 5 month trip with YWAM? What are you currently doing now? How did you get into missions? What do you plan to do next?
I have been refraining from telling people all the little details I have been receiving because so many of the details are not set in stone yet. The details I do know are that I am going to be doing an internship which will very possibly be turning into a full time missions position once my internship is over. I do know that my internship length will be similar to the length of time that I spent with YWAM, which will roughly be 6 months!
I will be going to Seattle this fall for a week to get more of the details tied down and by the end of the week I should know where my for sure location will be, how long my internship will be, and when I will be leaving. I know almost 100% what country my internship will be in! Here's a hint...it has been a life long dream to go this country where I originally originated from! :D
I definitely plan on posting again once I have more of the details!
As for now God has really been teaching me a lot during this season of being home/waiting. A devotion I read the other day referred me to the example of, Jesus(haha, shocker I know). In the Old Testament it talks a lot about the birth of Christ, his parents leaving him behind at the temple as a child, and then "poof" he is an adult beginning His ministry with His twelve disciples and performing super amazing miracles! But what about that time in between? The Bible doesn't give us a whole lot of details, but I'm guessing that Jesus was working with His father in the carpentry business. Now, Jesus, who knows everything that is going to happen, knows all the miracles He's going to do. He knows how many people are going to become His disciples. He knows about every single life that He is going to save, even the lives that don't even exist yet, here in 2016! For Him to know all of that, and yet all the years in between He accepts His role as a carpenter, is pretty incredible!! Man, if I knew I was going to be THEE King reigning over the whole earth, I wouldn't be caught dead in an old dirty shop! But here's the awesome part, JESUS DID! He spent those years "WAITING WELL", which is a phrase my good friend, Jenae, shared with me! He used that time to learn everything He could about His Heavenly Father! He didn't see it as a burden, but as a time where He could prepare and accumulate the tools that He needed for ministry! Whether it be witnessing to His family, neighbors, even strangers; I have no doubt that just because it wasn't titled "His time of ministry" that God refrained from using Him.
So that's what this season, so far, has been all about. Waiting well. Being used by God where I am right now. Treasuring the time I have with my friends and family. Living in the present. I hope this truth about Jesus is an encouragement to all of you that are in the season of waiting. I don't know about you, but I have a really hard time being patient when I know and I am passionate about what I want to do next! I would encourage you guys to not let the season of waiting well keep you from enjoying life or making you become discouraged! I honestly think this will be a season that I will look back on, and realize that all these moments in this waiting well season where to prepare me for what has planned for me next!
Thank you all for your continued support and prayer! I would really appreciate prayer that I would really listen to what God is teaching me in this season. Also that He would give me His wisdom and discernment with all the big decisions that lie ahead in these next couple months!
To God All Praise and Glory,
Megan
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