Little Did I Know

January 7th will always hold a special place in my heart. A year ago today, I left to embark on an incredible adventure that I will never forget. I remember leaving bright and early, excited to see what the next five months had in store. Five months prior to this day I had quit my job as a hairstylist due to a shoulder injury as well as I had been ignoring God calling me to pursue missions. Looking back, all I can think is, "Man, I was stubborn.". God had continued to put missions on my heart through His Word, church, and through people he had placed in my life. Finally one day I went into my pastor's office and told him,"Pastor Anderson, I don't know when, I don't know where, I don't know how; but I can't ignore God anymore. I have to pursue missions!!" I guess you could say that day was the start of the adventure already. Learning to surrender what I thought I needed/wanted and instead asking God what HE wanted to do with my life. I was so caught up in what I thought was best for me that I realized that I was never giving God the chance to show me HIS BEST.

I'm still learning about this today, but wow, looking back that process of discovering His best and what God wanted was SO BEAUTIFUL. In life, it is so easy to get caught up in : I'm at point A, now I want to be at point B. But often times I forget to stop and appreciate the beauty that happens in the middle of those points. It was fun finding out where God wanted me to go next and not having every step planned out in front of me. The first organization I was drawn to was Action International Ministries, which is currently the organization I am pursuing missions in Colombia through(God is so awesome!!!). At the time I felt like God wasn't saying no, but He was telling me not yet. It definitely confused me because it seemed like a perfect fit. The only thing was that at the time I wasn't ready to commit to full time/long term missions, so because of that God guided me to YWAM(Youth With A Mission) in Kona, Hawaii. God knew that I needed more preparation, shaping, and that I needed Him to prune me more into the woman He intended me to be. My experience in YWAM was exactly that! I had no idea who I was, because before my discipleship training school I was looking for my identity within myself instead of looking to my Creator.

Above: Teaching Bible Class at an orphanage in Thailand
Below: Building relationships with street children in the Philippines

This morning I was paging though my photo album where I had documented my trip to Hawaii, Thailand, and the Philippines and its amazing how all the memories so quickly came flooding back. I still can't believe that that was a whole year ago!! I remember not knowing a single person on campus. I remember my first day of lecture phase, and how I went in thinking that I already knew everything about God because I've known Him my whole life. The word humble smacked me in the face that day to say the least haha. I remember walking away that first day thinking, "Oh my gosh...what am I thinking? I don't know God!! I thought I had Him all figured out, but that just shows how much I still don't know about Him! For the rest of my life I will discover new things about Him that I didn't know before!!". I remember meeting new friends everyday from all around the world. I remember my team becoming my family. I remember feeling so at home in each country(or state) I was in. I remember being stretched in ways I had never been stretched before. I remember prayer having a whole new meaning after we had a week about hearing God's voice. I remember having to rely fully on the Holy Spirit before sharing your testimony or teaching a class. I remember sitting in little huts filled with families where all you could do was smile because neither of you knew each other's language. I remember choreographing my first dance and seeing how the Holy Spirit can move through the movements and lyrics of a song. I remember how hard it was leaving the people you had built relationships with in each country, but also a sense of joy because I know I will see them again in Heaven. I remember going into YWAM thinking, "Okay Lord, I know you want me here for the next five months, but after that I have no idea what to do after. I'll need you to give me a sign or speak really loudly what you want me to do next because I don't have a clue." Little did I know, this mission trip was the start of a new way of life. It wasn't just a mission trip. It was a chapter that revealed to me what God's call was for my life and what my purpose is. I'm still figuring it out. I still don't have all the answers. I still have more stretching and growing to do. I still fight going back to my old habits, of wanting to be in control and to know what's next. I still don't have it all together. I still stumble and make mistakes. But God has made this truth clear to me: No matter where I go. No matter what my earthly job title may be. No matter if I'm single or married. No matter what. My purpose is to live my life as Christ's ambassador. My purpose is to point those around me to Jesus. My purpose is to share the hope of Jesus Christ with the nations. My purpose is to make God known so that He may receive ALL GLORY. But in all of that, realizing that none of it is because of me, it's all because of Jesus, Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

To God All Praise and Glory,

Megan